Category Archives: Love

Torn apart by blogs from the heart

with the words that were meant to be

families formed by connection of two

 that were never one life in the same

Bringing out two families

 separated by distances apart

knowing they were meant to be

but never seeing heart in time

hearing and seeing things of the pasts

things that fall out of rhyme with time

like a lightning flash or a light bulb marking a new idea

there are things looking and fitting not so right

two soul mates knowing they are so

yet having yet to be together as now

things not always making sense as two soul mates should

questions in among the head

with un answered thoughts to speak

hidden in worlds darkness

for a soul mate is hard to find

true but still I feel I am loosing mine

living in a world of time

where nothing is real and all games

I feel so pure of the feelings we have

yet all around me is wrong

Seeing things written and read

of things I have never seen before

makes things not feel true

Knowing that is not how it is

or how it should be

I am living honest feelings

as some things on the screen I read

question me and make me wonder how much I really believe

Things that rub me in the wrong way

bringing in tears unto my eyes

things I do not want to read

and don’t make sense within

all of our dreams

however things I see and hear

 sounding and looking like we never will

I don’t know how to hold tight

when things are piling up and just not adding up right

Slowly being torn apart by blogs from the heart

Blogs that mean so much for me to read each and everyday

wisdom holding but pains and fears building

ripping me to pieces inside of myself

or voices speaking inside my head

though I don’t think so… this feels deeper inside than voices

Do they even know it tears me up like that

what do I do now

If I reveal it will cause issues

people will read into it wrong

others may get hurt

but you don’t understand

just how bad it hurts me to see

to see the things of which I see

every year another promise not fulfilled

all beginning to just seem like words said or written out

I am sure that is not so

but only you are the one to know

only you know the heart of the pure blog

I try to remain strong

but it is so distant that I have nothing to hold with a grip

a grip that I need as every piece of what I believed true

just seems to be a short end in my hand or vanish into thin air

as a path that we were following that just slipped and vanished from beneath our feet

that I don’t believe is how it is suppost to be

however that is how it is feeling to me

I love you I do

but I just don’t know what is happening and going on

nothing making sense in what I see

it hurts just as much to say

as it does to see and read

but all in itself I try to believe

for the soul mate I know we are and can be

I am hoping that you may read this just knowing i needed to vent

Nothing you read truly being meant

Praying that you aren’t becoming mad

just needed to clear thoughts from within my head

thoughts that just don’t really make sense

with thing that you and I have spoken between you and me alone

Know I mean it when I say that I love you

When I look at my apparel I see several different women I try to be

thoughts flying within my head of what makes the most comfort for me

I look nice in a dress and shoes, although it’s not really always me

I look nice in a dressy casual cachey and cashmere okay so that is comfortable but not me

I feel best fitted in cowgirl boots and country hats and country western apperal best

the cowgirl is where my home has always remained cowgirl is in my name

this is the best place apperal for me

nice and relaxing and comfortable for me

The Cowgirl hoedown is where i prefer to be

There used to be a day in life where I could hold my own

where I always had a secure job with money to fall on

where the economy felt safe no mater where you were or who you went to

there used to be a day when my paycheck was six-hundred and forty five each pay

there used to be a day when I lived on my own and did all on my on the way I was happy

now years down the line the economy and government has had a great fall

I haul out in my life not even being able to hold up my own door

where I can’t even get security in knowing that I can obtain a job of my own again

I used to be able to spend and buy with my own stash of cash

while still sitting upon a pile of it’s own

there used to be a day where no table’s lay unturned

where everything within my life was nice and done

now I sit here in rubbish and trash

of a life that is not my own

no safety making me feel comfort of my feet

trying to make all my ends in life meet

watching all I have left in life crumble more beneath my feet

nothin left for me to call a safe haven or safe place

trying to stay tall on my feet

living as a handicapped is not the life that I asked for me

with each difficulty in life and each difference that I have

something in life is always holding me back

Living life on the edge is not the easiest thing

with no money to hold onto or spend

no job to call your own

a life your holding on top of hope to

in hope that the hopes will float on down

on the verge of being homeless

knowing you are at sinking point

staying sane so that the government doesn’t put restraints upon us

God is keeping you safe and sane

Life on the edge

is just not what I would portrait on any friend or foe

but right now this is how my life shall go

I do not like it NO

but it’s what I have right now

with no help for money, no job taking me in, no home for me and the children

health has gone down as well

but still I stay focused and looking high to the sky

pulling my head from looking to the ground

for when I let it fall and my eyes begin to wonder the earth

it brings me to the wealth and materialistic and virtue of the ground I stand

causing me to fall into the deep dark hole of depression and giving up at hand

So I keep my head high so as I can say that all will be okay and God will see me thru

this is only temporary transition I am traveling thru

In my time he will see me and I will walk the stairs to the new heights in my current low down life

Those who sit and stare or laugh at me will have their own time revenge handed to them

for this is a serious matter and all concerns are with me and not what they think inside

Only I know the life I have and they have not been down this road

They’re day will come and they will see their very own current low down life

like this life here now surrounding me

staying true to you is all I want to do

My life seems endless in heartache and pain

I want to turn that around and be able to have a cathedral of fame

I want to believe that we will work all the way

I want to call you my soul mate for a lifetime and not just a day

Staying true to you is all I want to do

 to live one happy life not always alone

holding up family and making it grow larger on

staying true to you is all I want to do

living life by each others side

coming home to your wide open arms each night

And kissing you softly g’bye in the morning dew as you leave for your day on the roads ahead

Staying true to you is all I want to do

life filled with eternity and bliss as we travel together on the road to the future

starting today from now until eterenity

staying true to you is all i want to do