I am lying awake in the dark of night with all I hear around me is the beat of my very own heart and the sound of my every deep breath that I take
I feel you nudge me here by my side whispers flying by me within the wind
With every beat I hear makes note that you are still there
While I lye awake still trying to breath
My everything near me being chased away in fears
Each beat a new message released as the whispers embrace me to a release
Two beats saying that you are there and one beat telling me that I am alone
Each beat still holding a different tone of it’s own
The beats of my heart breathing new life into my own and helping me to still hold on
With your heart and mine we together will survive and hold on
Two hearts embracing within each shining light and waking side by side within the morning light
Hearing the beats as I awake from my sleep reminds and assures me that you are still there as it places my first smile on my face for that day as I awake and rise up to face a new day
So that each day that I wake before I rise up to face that new day I sit for just a moment to listen for the beat of my heart before beginning my day
Monthly Archives: August 2011
The Beat Of My Heart
Response To My Love
My love I know you have finally found me and are static at this thought
But the kisses you have left me have only remained for now in my heart
This simple love is pleasure I agree
However the love would be even more enlightened if I could really feel the kisses you plant with me nothing more but for real where I can be certain that they are claimed
To feel your wounded spirit is certainly the best, but to feel you hugging me togetherup against my chest would be nicer I must say
The distance between is isn’t easy either but I am more than ready and willing to wait for fait to hold you tight have no words to fill the space left inside
But hunny I am for real you know and waiting is where I will be
Waiting here for time with you and eternity to claim you and me
Bear The Dog
Since I just got my dog I have become happier
While he was still in the shelter I had not really liked him but thought okay even though I had liked and wanted other dogs I saw
When I had finally adopted him I had enjoyed all his kisses
Him being sweet, and that he likes other dogs and cats and that we had gotten him. I really enjoy him and how he is so protective of us.
Never Look Back, We've Come This Far…
Never look back kid
You’ve made it this far
It’s just you and I kid…
You have come along with me this far you see
To leave me now would not make sense
So stick it out some more
You’ve come along with me this far you see
That should say it all
Never look back kid
Never look back
We’ve come a long way
Never look back
I won’t leave u now or ever more
I have handed over to you my only key to this door
Nothing will change because they want it to…
Never look back come along with me
Come along
Come along
Together we are one now
To protect and lead
Never look back…
Remember Me…
Remember me whenever I least to think of you
Remember me even when I may be feeling blue
Remember me when that last tear may fall
Remember me cause I promise to always remember you
Remember me, remember me
Remember me, remember me
Remember me and I’ll remember you
Remember me under skies of blue
Remember me when night seems far away
Remember me upon each waking day
Remember me in the hot summer sand
Remember me throughout the end
Remember me, remember me
Remember me, remember me
Remember me surrounded with rose petals
Remember me lying next to you under that sacred tree
Remember me in the beauty of the sunlight
Remember me in winter
Remember me this way
Remember, remember me
Remember me….
Remember me…………
Remember me when you die
I love you shhh…
Walking In Life Spiritually And Be Free
Walking in life we strive to live
Man for man among evil and sin
Taking wrong turns on paths that just have no real end hanging on to tales that we have journeyed along each of our trails
Standing tall upon our hopes and dreams is where we stand believing that we will someday walk right on the lands
No turning back is what we say as we travel full speed ahead with each breaking of day
No turning back this is the way
Face the trails and follow the wolf who has layed out his prints in the sand
The wolf knows his way he watches the land each of the days
He leads his pack throughout trails and terrain his paw is like his own compass today.
Walking in life is how we must live as without this life that we have we would have no more
We learn to live strong, to continue on, to guide and lead as best as we can
Walking in life we learn to survive and not be the meal or the prey as all around us is evil these new days
With all believing to hunt or be the hunted I just say pray and believe
Our day will truly com one day
This dear is truly walking in life
The hardest thing there is these days
You must learn to trust and listen spiritually and not only with your ears to hear
You must learn to train your own sight looking out into the darkest of the deepest darkest nights
You must learn to listen to the wind and your earth beneath your feet, to the environment you live and the souls whom still walk and remain on this soil beneath and around our feet
We all are here and not ever alone. We have made it this far even on our very own walking in life, the very life that we were born and have known. Walking in life spiritually and be free this was how we were brought and raised to merge into the land and accept all as friend or family still walking in life maintaining humanity
Life is just a fairy tale some may say, bit fairy tales have princesses and princes and live happily ever after inside loyally
That is not so here where we were born to walk in life
Here we are always watching our backs and learning a new lesson just to survive
If you are not hunting you are running the land to not be hunted and killed and sold by someone whom you had always called your dear friend
Nothing is real it is just a piece of this game called life
Your a big meat for the next hungry tiger who is stalking and hiding where you just may not see till too late
Only you and the spirituality of the life that you walk in can save you know if you just relax and breathe and learn to listen not always to your ears but the land around you and souls of your lost loved ones or ancestors who have seen. Listen to the wind and the trees in the breeze. In all spirit filled things around you is where you will learn to walk in life
Unicorn Shine
Unicorn shine power on me
When it turns night the stars will shine like day and when it shines day the sun will gleam like a great large fire and will shine light so bright across the land creating a beautiful rainbow
Watch over me unicorn and share your power with the land
Your sleek and soft coat glistening in such shine and your Maine as soft as mink within your hand
When raindrops fall you run throughout the land and straight to your castle upon the sands
When I goto the beach I see you there as you follow behind me and still by my side
When you see an animal in need you take one minute from me to rescue the animals setting it again free
Then when night falls again your horn than glows and shines to signal other unicorn, Pegasus and foes
Then the kids watch as the Pegasus fly in to town to find food bringing it down
The Embarrassment
Disappointing you know…. you come home from work and rush me to get the kids dressed for a last minute birthday party for Shayne’s little boy. After I had just gotten them ready to go into the pool, then you say get them dressed for a birthday. I get them dressed for the party as you say. We all walk a block down the road to show for this party, have the cup cakes and sing happy birthday as Shayne begins his sons party and then you rush me out just as you rush me there and we don’t even do a birthday party WTF was that? That is rude and I am not rude. What was the point of even showing ourselves there? For the embarrassment? Thanks but I really could have found some way to do that on my own. That is just sick is what that is.
This Is What I Call A Very True Friend
I lay restless in the weight of my stress. Living each day as I have all the rest. With my life a mountain of shamble. Stumbling I fall and feel that I just can not handle. Yet look at me now I am still standing strong coming over each hill that has come between me and my rest in the sun. You hold me up even when I feel myself fall and can not rest not even for my soul for even the best. You keep me strong even when i have given up and run. You keep me riding on a white horse each day riding in the sunset straight into your arms. I keep a smile on my face to help all my beauty and image shine even when I feel I have failed and need to wash my hands clean to free me of this horrible place. You my friend raise the roof for me and help me to grow seeing all reality. You make me free. As free as a bee. You hold me until I am fully complete. You are a true man who cares about me. You are my strength keeping me hanging on tight. Even when I have said I am done and all is through.
You take one last look at the situations ahead and change my mind changing my heart saying stay strong. Helping me to move forward and keep moving ahead. This I must proclaim! This is what I call a very true friend.
Two Drown Lifeless But Revived, Friday's Dream
Okay so the night before this I had a scary dream that I awoke crying from and just can not seam to put past my mind. We all went somewhere unsure exactly where but as usual Dan just gets me there and than disappears.
So apperantly we were at a hotel or work out center and myself and the three kids were awaiting his return where we were apperantly swimming in a pool somewhere which I must say seems to in reality of day be your three favorite past times right now swimming. Well anyway I was swimming with you three and we were playing with a blow up raft or something, when this dream suddenly fade to grey and comes back to another scene. With many people around I should have been able to find out a how or why or even a what happened but that was not so. I look around in a panic seeing now in this dream that the three has dropped to just Brie and me…oh my gosh we are no longer three… where are the two babies? In a panic I begin to look when sudden commotion arise around yet across the pools side. Life guards all rushing to the side I look to glance to see what I could see there were the two missing babies together as if they had been trying to play both lifeless settled upon the floor of the pool I scream and begin to cry tests falling hard from out of my eyes frantic and swimming to both of their sides to pull you from the water myself,yet the Lifeguards holding me back. Me yelling I can get to them faster saving us time that we don’t have on our sides. Whispers being heard ….Oh lord save their sweet little innocent lives. Please lord don’t let the two children die. Help those guards regain their lives I pray. Three statements and phrases that I should not be hearing that day, however in the situation okay I should but not the way I wanted that day. The guards got you out and together two performing CPR on you there in front of me, rolling you two to the side in hopes of getting out some of the water. You both looking so pail and not moving one bit. I myself begin to pray and turn my eyes away hiding my face because I can not bear the sight yet still knowing that I still have one daughter I have to still protect and be strong for. Together we wait neither of us knowing how or what happened or even why they had not been with me…or had they and for a minute we had just lost sight. My dream would not and did not explain or show that. The other guards tools us two into the guard quarters so that we did not see what would conspire as no one at this point could be sure. One guard with tears in his or her eyes I still am not sure looks at me and asks may you answer some questions for me please. I replied quiet and yet still in shock yes. The guard asks who is here with you today? I replied myself and my three kids. Their father dropped us off and was with us when we first arrived however as usual has disappeared leaving my side and at this point I don’t even know if he is here or where exactly he is. Then the guard says could you please state for me your name and the names of your three children with you. Politely I do as asked tears rolling harder down my face as I begin feeling as I as a mother have failed my three. Then the guard looks at me and says you know I saw you and the kids come in here today and I thought you seemed familiar to me as a tear rolled down that guards face and they said now I know just why…. puzzled I glanced and said huh? As the guard then said you took me in and made my walk in life strong just when I needed it most Jen. Jen it’s Alex from about 15 yrs ago or so. I take this job serious and under my skin and right now this is even hurting me I will always pray for you and I wish you best of luck. With that the other guards come in carrying my two babies in and say here you go miss please come with us they are doing well but just to be sure we would like to get them checked at a local hospital. And handing the babies to me they prepare for the trip and that guard asks me one last thing Jen one last thing before you go on your way. What ages are the children? All three? Six,Five and the baby is three I say. With that the dream ends and I wake in tears and fear the entire day. Then I begin to think why did I not know what really happened to them, and who is Alice or Alex and it all came running back to me maybe it could be Alex hall who was a big inspiration in a time of need in my early life or could it be Alex …. never knew her last name who we inspired each other and she was one of my students that my mom and I had one year back when we taught VBS years back. I may never know when or why this name came to me nor if this dream is something real but I awoke crying and have not been able to shake it from my mind or sleep now.
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