Category Archives: Uncategorized

you stand upon a rock hoping no one will come your way. looking at the world in many different rays. seeing the light beams shine and shadow in different clouds of ray. Thinking upon yiur own life and realizing your own disaray and dismay. Hoping that no one is watching along but you. Naming yoir own disaster that you know rings true. The coming of tomorrow to face your own day. The day of judgement has come for you. Your very own judgement day. wanting no bad names or mocking to ring in amd sound, you hold your head low hoping that no one will mock you or make fun of you goving you your due. Letting you do what needs to be done for you alone to face your own judgement day as it should be. It’s not theirs it’s yours and they have no say eventhough they think they may.
face today what will come tomorrow. The coming of your judgement day.

tangled in a web that does not end. Day by day i stand by looking for someone whom i could call a friend. Standing alone with a web piling high each day of my life. Whisping in the cold breeze of the wind becoming worne and dry in the warm sunlight as it gains holes from wear and tear in my life that is going no where. Why do i worry and why do I care? because It is all I have in life to save and try to form in right. It is my kids, my blood all my name has left to live for and at least continue and fight yo try. It’s my tangled web of life.

The sun has set, day has gone

No time to frett, moving on

no whsiper within the black midnight wind

no tears falling from the skies

the day is gone and the moon is high

stars are filling the midnight sky

time to lay upon the bed and silently rest upon my head

good Day, goodnight

The late nights blog is what I look forward to each day

That is truly my time away from life and kids of the daily everyday

this may sound selfish and all about me

but that is what ,y alone time is just suppost to be

The late night blog is what keeps me focusing on yet another day

while it clears my head just before bed of all the stressors making me unable to rest my head

the late night blog is what keeps me saine

while I blog about just what is truly bothering me

I think i will not walk this one away

but keep it instead and look for the next blog to be on it’s way for me again tommorrow in the new day.

Tearing beneath the skin I feel the rapture, the pain.

I plead and beg arguing within for it all to walk away.

this firey pain still raging strong as pain overwhelmes my inside like nothing else.

That all hits the fan as the last tear I have falls.

My nerves shot.

Trembling in the hands has begun.

I have no more to reach out or give.

and am so tired of holding on.

My life begins to slip yet again, as my life feels it has come to an end.

I am not strong as I once had been.

I am weak and have begun to feel defeat.

My eyes have become dry not one more tear remains.

my voice silent as there is no more I could come with to say.

I have begun to push all my hopes and dreams away

feelinging there is nothing left to give or reach out for in life.

My body has begun to shut down and waist away.

I have become tired of the fight and I have nothing left inside.

this is my life, who i say and what i do is all about me.

The pain of nothing else but this life I have and the pain of my health and nothinng else.

I truly honestly have nothing else to give.

Okay so tonight dad and I went and did the unthinkable when you break it down to our family. We rarely ever ever get any kind of lottery tickets. However with the BIG 540 Million running right now and still gaining. Along with life’s handle on us right now we actually discussed it as a dinner conversation and then broke down in hopes of lucks sum. Yup you heard right. We bought 4 tickets. My luck is riding really hard on this reward and my heart is really eagerly leaning on a win or a non win and then another chance next week if no wins this week. If you have been following my recent and past several years on Facebook then you know how bad we all could use this money. So if you have a small sence of decency laeft in your heart for some good send up hope to christ for a nice sum luck. Good Luck to all who went up on the BIG 540 Million. I have become one of the ones wishing my heart on that sum luck.

Lying in the dark of night I sit and think and contemplate the next move in this game of life
As If like a move taken in a game of chess
Each move could be your last
Questions running throughout your mind of who would want to break this love and bond of mine
Taking away all that is mine in just all that I have breaking hearts and tearing a family apart.
All in my eyes is not for the best interest of me in my mind but for the love of my kids, my family and my very own well being and sanity instead.
Yet the threat still comes at hand to threaten to destroy ones sanity and life instead.
To tear apart what dream that one once had making it all lye in rubble and mystery and putting out the one tiny flame left burning within
Killing the dreams that once still survived and making them spin and swirl right down the drain. The only Sanity one had left. Turned and burned to ashes and suit laying in the rubble as if it were just all a comply bed to rest your very head. Taking apart one’s sanity and what’s left of me.