HevnSwtAngels Blog

Each time that I hear about another mom who has lost an infant weather after it was born or before it digs deep into my heart and sadens me to see another mother suffer the same pain as I have already been working thru. I myself carried a child for six n half months attaching my entire self being to her more than ever as she was to be my first child ever and a special child at that to become a millennium baby. However, at 6n 1/2 months and after creating that special parent child bond Katrinia lost her heart beat forcing me to have to go thru emergency DNC to have her removed and protect my own health, while tearing my heart out with hers. I will never forget my reaction sitting on that OB table just those quick subtle minutes and the screams that left with her that very day as tears pour from my eyes. The loss of a child is one that never goes away or leaves your side. It is one that ones involved must find their own RIGHT closer for to bring peace to their mind. It’s been 11 years for me now and every year I am still celebrating what I can just to never let her go as if she was still right here. One could not let go. It just always remains with you no matter how hard one tries. Sometimes it tears more than just your soul, sometimes it could tear apart lives or families as it had mine. A lot around me changed and left away the day I had learned about the loss of my baby
Sometimes it can be fixed, other times it is left in the buried sands by the sea to be washed far away from where it had once used to be
No matter what the case
You will make it thru, to be a leader to others and help them out as well helping them to see the light and hear your stories too
Your voice can also be the voice that other moms still may need to see or read

“As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Luke 9:57

62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:59-62

We lay down upon our pillow at night to give our body rest from a busy day, or from our every activity of day
Thinking over our lives and what gifts God has given to me
Thinking of our past that just hounds or haunts or changes us for the best in our lives
Touching our tiny souls as all else in life is quiet our life is all still full of the footprints that only that soul has earned for each journey along putting us on a focus to become stress free

Remembering God’s love that only he was able to fully give to thee I and many more have always returned and remained
In the great book that he wrote in it saying…though none go with me I still will follow
Our lives are made of our choices and decisions
No one elses, no one but us can  decide and change what we live life like
Knowing this the Lord answered by saying
“Though none go with me I still will follow…”
Implying that we could either stand by the ways of the world, or we could love our lives for Christ and what is best of us
We could walk in the way we believe is best for us using the ways of the world, or we could walk with God no matter for peer pressure or what others decide what they feel is best for you
When we decide to follow Christ and do without the world we decide just that…
“Though none go with me I still will follow…” no matter what ones of your friends, relatives, family decide to go with us you still will follow and go with Christ no matter weather none or all go too

The days cold as ice
The nights dark as a cave
When everything in life is made to break
Nothing is ever the same
Lives always changing
In the distance the loud howl that sends shivers up your spine
Road kill along the way where you may travel or drive
Screams of children of young and old
The screech of a screech owl or the hoot of a great horned
Whispers riding on the wind
As the leaves all fall to the ground
Busy busy is how it always seems on these insane nights
With the moon all a shine and full of light
A full moon straight up in the sky
With the wolves continuing to speak to the night and howl at gleem of the light
chills in the night of these insane nights

Nights where pure evil glow and the light in the clouds all shine and reflect over the land and through the clouds making an even brighter spooky night
The wind begins to chill the air as thunder in the distance sounds like the rev of a race car engine
A bolt of lightening flashes in a streak across the sky
Breeze begins to whip all the trees as if in a great tree dance
Where the darkest ravens and crows take the sky and begin to flee and fly from the on coming storm in sight
These are the time of the insane nights

Just kindergarteners you’ve grown up so fast your now in your first art club after school and wanting so hard to keep trying still on your own
Not yet knowing what you are doing and not fully yet willing to listen and learn how
You are the mastermind behind all of you
Only doing it your way still not fully trusting and relying in anyone but you
Yet still being part in the two year old child crying over everything that doesn’t go your way
Very testing in my life as nerves raise high at many times
Soon enough you’ll be headed to 10 than 13 time has flown so quickly, so soon I guess this is all age trend of being the beginning kindergartener
Although as you begin to mature and grow at times it makes me miss the infant baby in you