Monthly Archives: February 2011

Anger Builds As I Resist

Anger builds

emotions rage

 the blood pumps fast as my heart races

 my body begins to tremble

tears begin to weld, my voice begins to raise a tone in a very loud volume

pain filling my heart and mind

 I am so frustrated and angry I feel the emotions roll and the rage build

 the voices calling out names

the person within me starting to try to get out to beat them

Anger builds as I resist

unable to breathe knowing better within myself I begin to hyperventilate with tentions turning me red and shortness of breath

tearing me into trembles, my blood rushing so high I begin feeling numb and my life is just a distant view now as I look far away

I have climbed my highest high and reached past my limit now shutting down as to not face anymore of these out of control kids among my eyes sight

I need to just leave of this sight right now and calm myself in a different view of atmosphere

my focus needs a straight away change it needs it now

Anger builds as I resist the rage

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Posted by on February 18, 2011 in Uncategorized


Angel Takes Flight

Angel takes flight high into the sky
Her wings open with the rays of sunlight streaming by her like a rainbow thru the clouds on a rainy day
She begins to lift from the ground and open her wings as the sun sprinkles sun dust down upon her like a myst from a fountain
Her hair how long, beautiful and all the wave to it as it flows down.
She has the most contagious beautiful smile which travels for long far out miles
Her beauty within shines on and on forever having others call her miss sunshine
she has lots of seeds which she sows for and with many that she holds like sunflowers
An angel of mysteriously fine beauty
Filling a room with a full lit bright room as she enters into the door
with a smile of beauty that helps shine a glissen over all within her midst
A inner beauty with nothing but love to give
with the radieance and exuberance to share some joy
while she illuminates any person with her very deep intuition of a self beauty filled life She lifts her wings to raise them high and takes off lifting herself off the ground and into the sky as the angel takes flight she looks like a giant eagle half human taking flight in the sky reminding us in all beauty of God’s grace and love soaring higher into heaven she continues to fly until she vanishes into the deep of the clouds and heavens great lining to return back at the side of the lord’s great throne and heaven’s gate

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Posted by on February 16, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Sketch – The Creative Artist

The sketch is an outline of forbidden lines

crossing over to become the unique design

 within a spectacular drawing

each line significant with another

outlining each curve and contrast for the draft

Creating this picture frame called a sketch

this is the begining of a simple masterpiece

A masterpiece of the mind of a creative artist

This I aam not yet my mom would disagree

She always saw a creative artist within me

My mind always finding a sence of creativity

This is the closest thing I have come to see within me

A simple sketch

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Posted by on February 16, 2011 in Uncategorized


Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear, teddy bear with your eyes so bright

Teddy bear teddy bear in the glistening moonlight

teddy bear so soft and so cuddly

I miss you now most within the many nights of the lonely

you’ve been a true friend throughout the nights and days thru till the ends

fur so smooth and soft like a babies skin

you put me to rest even when I am spiritly restless

I miss you when you are not cuddling me tight

Teddy bear teddy bear soft as you are

never leave myside

stay here teddy bear forever mine

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Posted by on February 15, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Bold and The Beautiful

When I look into your eyes

I see beauty possessing your souls reflection of me in your heart

Your eyes bold and beautiful

your voice whispering sweet soft nothings into my ears

your mind hearing my deepest secrets and my daring thoughts

as I finish my day dreaming on in life about you

One last glance before I sleep

keeping me awake as I try to rest

your beauty souly golden

your heart pure and true

your mind open and spirit filled

These are the thoughts of the most bold and the beautiful

coming to into my guiding light

one minute less with thee I’d die

souly given my life over to not one but thee

Rest now my love

gain thee your strength

you will need it more when day awake

capture my gaze once more in day break

 filling my heart with all the love you have to give

today is the day of red hearts and love

I dream of this day for us each year I live


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Posted by on February 14, 2011 in Uncategorized



In times of sadness we tend to fall to our knees

beliving in dreams we have not seen designed for guiding

time takes a toll

and brings us down

tearing hearts and souls straight to the ground

feelings of shattered dispair invading the air

Hopes holding onto faith in those dreams

some ending with misunderstanding

others ending with relief and satasfaction

while times of sadness tumble it all and time stands still

unsure of what was really real and true

People dieing all around

Souls felt and being sound

Love learking where hope still holds true

still in awe and search of you

Where are you in these times of need

in these times of sadness I so dread

your not here where I want you

I feel hope but slim in emotional sense

lest I take heart and then our hearts take a distant part

where is this bliss I so desperately wish upon

My life filled with dreams of fear and the unseens

at least one a night since we last spoke

Sometimes I keep myself awake out of habbit

 just in fear that I not have sight at these fear-filled frights in the nights

Then when I awake from one of these dreams

I look and turn in search of you

half the time not knowing at first my own room

scared to be alone in bed with my covers quietly tucking my head

hoping to keep out the evil within my very own head

When will be here long enough to protect me in every way

for I fear the night when it turns to day

those are the times most I have these dreads within my head

something that is not right or supposed to be

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Posted by on February 14, 2011 in Uncategorized


Trickster Of Many Tricks

The tricks of a trickster that noone can hear

the tricks of the trickster is an invisable staire

Who is this trickster I see roaming about

Who is this trickster all are conversing is about

What is his next trick that he holds up his sleeve

What trick could he possibly do that has not been revealed yet

What is a trickster, a joker, a fool

What has this jester got to do

My eyes stay peeled as i wait in content

My ears listen as I am sceptic yet

Who does this jester think he can fool

Not me I have seen all in my years

I know some tricks I am willing to share

though who cares they think he beats all

The tricks of a trickster I’ll leave them here

Wandering about as I feel I must

Tricktsers are trouble who I leave alone

No good tricks for me to learn

trouble, trouble, trouble are the words that I hear

He’s a con, a fraud, a fool

the joker he is I shall let him be

for he surely will not come and fool me

Hey wait…. I think he got you

you must be a fool

you are reading the story about this jokester I see

this jokester is you playing parnks on me I gotch ya you fool as you have got me

So go out and be the next jokester or con

Make someone smile c’mon you know that you can

be a fool today and brighten the light in someone elses day

You fool I gotcha today

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Posted by on February 14, 2011 in Uncategorized


Today You Are Six Still Many More

Wow! Today you are six
You not to long ago were still only three
Soon you will be growing into a young women like me
My gosh this is such a scary thought you actually growing old enough and maturer now where you have understood helpin with your sisters somehow
Where has time gone it has flown like the wind
the spirits of adolescense,beauty and youth are begining to move in soon you’ll be in high school attending your first dance then off to college and maybe even a sweet romance where has time gone it hasnt been too long your growing so fast in front of my eyes it takes me a minute to lool around to realize
Happy birthday girl I am proud of you
you’ve come this far lets travel on some more
I can say as a mother would
I am proud to be your mother and to have a child like you

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Posted by on February 12, 2011 in Uncategorized


Trees of life

You look deep into the valley
looking through the brown thicket of the fields and forests
you look up and you see there are many sticks of branches reachin as far through the sky climbing there branches of stairs into heaven
You look down and you watch the roots of the lives past birrying themselves down into the dark cold ground and down into the center of the earth
Here I speak of trees Trees make images into my head that makes me think of all the lost souls who make their way to sit next to the lords throne and all the lost souls of the deep dark side of Satan burrying into the firey flames and volcanos of earth
together creating creation and the system of life With the brown bark shaving and pealing away showing the ageing and extent of how many lost souls that tree has seen
The grass and fields growing at the foot and spreading many miles and acres of the land makes you see the future ahead showing the era of the new growth ahead of the new lives and the youth to come still on the way
You scope out the land with the history behind and you see the scars of fossil and other natural things that portray its own life story of wars, or fires or trouble that’s come begining to cry in horror of all this truth you fold your hands and begin to pray for the hope of a new and better tomorrow for yourself and all the souls still to come

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Posted by on February 12, 2011 in Uncategorized


Doesn't He See How Much I Cry

He doesn’t understand how much it tears me apart

He doesn’t the pain he puts upon me

the weight he causes

how much he makes me cry

I am not hurting him but he must always hurt me

My life consists of raising our kids and being an adult

while he works and then does all his childs play

I rarely ever see him and when he calls it is only to herass and start with me

Though to him I’m a slut

yet to me I am spending my entire life raising the kids and being a mom

unlike him who is on his computer all day or sleeping to keep me away

Where is the love and trust in this pain

I dont see it unless I am just laime

not one nice word always pain and hurt

not my idea of love

though he doesn’t see my tears that I cry

if he does it’s always…you damn cry baby get some medication for your bi polar cause I am sure that you have it

Hell it may even be schitzo of crazy women of more than one personality

you bitch you are no good to me or noone

Is it just me or am I laime

I just don’t see a world of fame or love in this life filled picture frame

I guess eight years, three kids never meant a thing and it’s a lost hope that just needs to somehow die and dround


well I don’t know

I am not to shame

I made mistakes in the beginning like anyone could

but I faced front to them and kept going

he shunned me and held me tied to lies

leaving me breaking down and crying not once but all of the times

Where is the love I don’t see it there

build me a new picture with a new frame and maybe then I will but I highly doubt as life around you has showed that all out

Why doesn’t he see how much I cry


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Posted by on February 11, 2011 in Uncategorized