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When I saw your face you made me smile

My heart fluttered sending shivers up my spine as it skipped a beat

You were like a dream in the slumber of the night

Like a thought in the clouds I lifted my head in belief while i closed my eyes in a prayer

you were  all I saw in the sight of my eyes

you were like a dream that I never awoke from

My hands began to shake as my blood rapidly flowed thru my veins

My breath was taken away just a lil gasp was all I could say

You were my prince come to save my day

You were like a dream

Now your just a distant word in the dark of night as I hold on to the memories till we see each other one day in the good life

a thought in my mind with my pictures of the brain

lots of memories and lots of strife

holding onto and knowing that all will come to be

and that life in the future will not remain the same

your life of today will hold onto a different name

the fairys will take your old life away helping you make a brighter life today

Laying my head upon the pillow in my bed

I say a prayer then rest my head

thinking of you as I rest

while watching the snow outside fall

remembering the winters of my childhood filled with bliss

pondering in thought how much we’ll really see

is this finally it or is there still yet more

My eyes feeling droopy my body ice cold

I lay missing you in awe

my life in somewhat slumber rest

 as all the children rest their own little heads

I know when morning falls they’ll ask to go out and play

 running out that front door to enjoy this new snow day

with you still on my mind I try to sleep

although feeling uneasy with envy

Missing you so I look out my window

Watching the white wintery snow falling to the ground below

 to change my  point of focus

from thoughts of you…out to the snow

finally falling asleep calm and resting

I search within my dreams

where in my dreams my focus still remains on you

My love holds strong

to the heart you have

sustaining you I am

In my dreams I dream a story never finished or untold

living each day in a new mystery

His love is true

I know this well

this door is left open for you

 telling me the mysteries of the untold

hidden in duquise

I stay silent

fear within fills me inside

thinking of you as I miss you now

with the thought in me remaining sustained

This is love I will hold tight like a wolf in persuit

of a hunt he sees.

Steady and ready he seems to proceed

While shaking deep inside

just trying to finish off and succeed

this slumber rest is what I need

making me feeling good and refreshed indeed

I am writing this letter to myself in hopes that my life could soon be changed It’s just past one year now since your mom had died

 there are so many things I see in you that you saw in her

things you see that have made you cry

like missing her and other things you have seen that give you and dad laughs because even he sees the same similarity or reminder that you feel she’s left behind.

Your thirty-three now and yourself and the kids are growing older

yet its funny how she passes and you feel as if you are her at times with things you see that she left behind

 you’ve begun to realize all the similarties the two of you actually did have in common as you never had before eventhough you thought the two of you were two total opposites.

 I will right you once more again in about one year and then once again in about five sometime lets try to see the change.

I hope that God will soon bless you and the children as well as your life.

In one year they will be seven,six, and four and will understand and learn alot more

So hopefully you will soon be able to close that bad door in theirs and your own life.

Bringing a better tommorrow to your name and sometime in the near future you should soon be making a move.

Hold tight to your life and try your hardest to make it worth something big.

 In another five years more

hopefully you should have a new open door in that new tame life and the kids will become then twelve,eleven, and nine leaving a bit more freedom for thine.

 Much older than

they surely would understand than and things will be more sensative to them.

So the faster you get this all tied down the easier life will be for the three and for you.

Mom loved you she’d want nothing but the best of the best for you.

I know i would love and you would love best to try to make her happy weather she were still here or not.

 Good luck, and I shall check in again soon. For now go rest and remember this note.

Signed,
Letter to myself

Rages higher than the tree tops
With many different colors of red orange and blues in an inferno of heat out in the fifty degree and sixty-five miles per hour gusts this crazy fire raging in the night too many houses and lives near by
Surrounded in woods of trees for miles by and by yet do they care about safety
This I am not sure seems a bit strange in some way
My very own house smelling of smoke within my house
Air so heavy and thick it makes it hard to breath
The neighbors house ashes in the blackened ground people walking down to see how safe they all are for their own families nothing but bright lights as if it were again christmas roads surrounding closed to all traffic nearby everyone in awe about it really being so close to home even for them something like that out of a fantasy movie or a land far away this raging fire lighting the midnight sky and smoke smelling like that of a campfire in the night this was what we returned home to in the middle of the night something we never even expected to be or seen within our plate a deep strong raging fire on the night

Have you ever just sat and pondered about the beauty and majestics around that of a peacock

After many years of enjoyment, laughter, and love of the majestics of the peacocks I began to have a obsessions of their ineer and outer beautys

taking many a photo whenever I was within their presences

Then my sister n law came into my life and it gave me even more genuine reason to focus myself into this intruiging bird as she herself also was just as obsessed with this creature also

Hense giving me more reasons to take many more and different photo’s just for me to share

I look at the way that this bird raises it’s crown making it seem so royal

How the colors are so bright to attract the female better

thinking why couldn’t we have some nature in itruiging color to help us get our mate so easily

Then I begin to think some more about how each feather although it looks pretty much the same in each one is actually unique and genuine in many different ways in each feather of it’s own

Have you actually ever studied a peacock feather

Wow….

I must say

There is really alot you could do with one

Many different interesting uses for the colorful piece

then to look at the way his feathers fan out making it look just like a giant fan of beauty

one single feather looking like a raindrop or tear drop dripping upon the earth

Or looking deeper into its design kinda looking like many tears falling to tell you its age

I have 3 peacock feathers of my very own

to be able to use them as a toy for the cats, or decor behind a mirror or painting and still see its beauty in the peacock itself and it’s myseterious royal life of majestics

these just seem to make you really think

this is defenetly a bird of many beauty’s, talent, mysetery and majestics

I agree

this is defenately a bird of royalty and beauty

Anger builds

emotions rage

 the blood pumps fast as my heart races

 my body begins to tremble

tears begin to weld, my voice begins to raise a tone in a very loud volume

pain filling my heart and mind

 I am so frustrated and angry I feel the emotions roll and the rage build

 the voices calling out names

the person within me starting to try to get out to beat them

Anger builds as I resist

unable to breathe knowing better within myself I begin to hyperventilate with tentions turning me red and shortness of breath

tearing me into trembles, my blood rushing so high I begin feeling numb and my life is just a distant view now as I look far away

I have climbed my highest high and reached past my limit now shutting down as to not face anymore of these out of control kids among my eyes sight

I need to just leave of this sight right now and calm myself in a different view of atmosphere

my focus needs a straight away change it needs it now

Anger builds as I resist the rage

Angel takes flight high into the sky
Her wings open with the rays of sunlight streaming by her like a rainbow thru the clouds on a rainy day
She begins to lift from the ground and open her wings as the sun sprinkles sun dust down upon her like a myst from a fountain
Her hair how long, beautiful and all the wave to it as it flows down.
She has the most contagious beautiful smile which travels for long far out miles
Her beauty within shines on and on forever having others call her miss sunshine
she has lots of seeds which she sows for and with many that she holds like sunflowers
An angel of mysteriously fine beauty
Filling a room with a full lit bright room as she enters into the door
with a smile of beauty that helps shine a glissen over all within her midst
A inner beauty with nothing but love to give
with the radieance and exuberance to share some joy
while she illuminates any person with her very deep intuition of a self beauty filled life She lifts her wings to raise them high and takes off lifting herself off the ground and into the sky as the angel takes flight she looks like a giant eagle half human taking flight in the sky reminding us in all beauty of God’s grace and love soaring higher into heaven she continues to fly until she vanishes into the deep of the clouds and heavens great lining to return back at the side of the lord’s great throne and heaven’s gate

The sketch is an outline of forbidden lines

crossing over to become the unique design

 within a spectacular drawing

each line significant with another

outlining each curve and contrast for the draft

Creating this picture frame called a sketch

this is the begining of a simple masterpiece

A masterpiece of the mind of a creative artist

This I aam not yet my mom would disagree

She always saw a creative artist within me

My mind always finding a sence of creativity

This is the closest thing I have come to see within me

A simple sketch

Teddy Bear, teddy bear with your eyes so bright

Teddy bear teddy bear in the glistening moonlight

teddy bear so soft and so cuddly

I miss you now most within the many nights of the lonely

you’ve been a true friend throughout the nights and days thru till the ends

fur so smooth and soft like a babies skin

you put me to rest even when I am spiritly restless

I miss you when you are not cuddling me tight

Teddy bear teddy bear soft as you are

never leave myside

stay here teddy bear forever mine