Monthly Archives: February 2011

You lye in your bed intently focusing on what you could have done

your heart aching and breaking with each acusation that he lyes upon you

with no understanding of the reasoning of why

When you try to openly discuss it, he pushes you away

Saying nothing but a shameless goodbye

What is it about most men that makes them tend to back away and shut down

I am not nasty or mean

I just try to understand where people come from in what they think and also try to be foward and honest so they can learn me

this is why I must admitt, I love him

but yet I hate and despise him as a man

why must he always start with me

why can’t he just be kind and open with me

will this man ever really leave me alone or will it be like this all along

A women can’t even focus and think and wants not even to see him or talk to him when he does this

everytime they are around each other it’s nothing but hatered and never love

What do I do I never know

he begins yet each time with never a reasoning behind his thinking

it’s just acusation without reasoning

Saying goodbye is always tough

with a relationship so strong you don’t want to let go

there are several ways of saying goodbye

Though my thoughts still remain on the loss of a loved one or that special friend

It is rarely something you could prepare for

One day they seem well the next day they are gone

they have life fullfilled beneath their feet

you give them that last kiss for one last goodbye

one tear falling for goodluck and many more goodbyes throughout your life

Say a prayer for those within need

Lightening flashes across the sky

Thunder seems to vibrate and shake the earth

rain hits the window paines like a flume splashung everyone as it comes down

the wind blows like a loud howling wolf

lightening flashes through the sky like a light show in the night

lightening flashes in the sky making it nice and bright as day

the colors of the lightening red, blue and yellow

in a wild wind that will lift you off the solid ground

a day you don’t want to be in

stay inside and just continue watching the creeping lightening

as the streaks move in every direction in the sky

down to the ground and jumping from cloud to cloud

wonder if what my mom told me many years ago as child afraid of a storm could be true

thunder is just the angels bowling in the alley in the sky with the tears being the tears of the angels that cry

the temperature begins to drop and the air gets cold

childrens hearts begin to pound as they hide their head buried in their beds from the big loud sounds

the wind begining to sound like a passing train as it’s blowing starts to roar

the thought of this craziness outside my front door

when it will stop we can’t be sure

lightening still flashing deep into the night

thunder rumbling in the dark black sky

no stars out tonight

my heart begins to pound with the stress of trying to settle my kids down

the storm a wild one

Lightening nature’s own electricity

this is the lightening from the storm above

Falling to pieces here without you

Lying in my bed feeling overwealmed with sadness and blue

sitting here on my pillow thingking and dreaming of you

Falling to pieces with tears in my eyes

with a love inside that I do not know

my heart crying out for us to bind

falling to pieces upon the sand

stepping here in the unfamiliar of this unknown land

You love me so yet we can’t even hold my hand

My love holds strong

yet it feels as if you are walking away and loosing hope

I sit and cry at night wonderin why

shaking my head in deny

 could this be true

are we falling to pieces drifting apart

tears falling from within my heart

as i think of you and wonder what will be

everything around me seeming like a distant mystery

You sit under a stary sky chasing the one shooting across the universe making a special wish while it is in it’s evening bliss

While your life around you seems to vanish into the great abyss and you feel nothing goes the way you planned

You feel inside that you love him so

However even your love for him feel like you are loosing him so

Life just seems on the brink of the edge

Like it’s all a dream that you haven’t awoken from yet

yet this is real

this is life

You try to feel good about things that they will get better soon

however your dreams look too slim

you try to seek help and get nowhere

your tears can’t fall anymore your tangled in a great big knot

Several promises left undone

where is your life going

is this really real

I believe it is and I would like to just shut the forever door

I’m so depressed and hidden inside

I have run away in myself to just run and hide

I seem trapped in a ditch that I can not climb out

While the darkness overtakes me and covers me

Will this life ever get better

Many say so

yet I just really don’t know I’d rather be inside a great big empty igloo

 Making wish on that single falling star but wishes not going anywhere waves crashing on my shore

 shells getting broken to pieces with all the suds wash in blinding me in the light of the moon

wishing I could just jump in the ocean and ride away with a dolphin or a whale out into the wide open never ending sea of possibilities

You try to do what you feel compelled is right. Though in life nothing ever really seems right. Seems someone or something is almost always being wronged. Will this world ever live happy and at peace. Will I ever live happy and rest my soul in peace. All the supernatural’s of life have all caused me all pain. Isn’t something ever gonna be right.Why does life have so much pains? Hatered all around from all the messed up rights always being wrongs.

Some may call them ghosts others spirits. Weather they are ghosts or spirits their word is subtle and quietly heard. sometimes we see what they want us to see or we hear what we hear. However we may the spirits are always there. They are aound listen to all we discuss. They are near when we least expect them there. The ghosts are around everywhere. They hear what we say and hear, they say what they feel and haunt us too. They do what they do to reach out and communicate to you. We feel them when we are near. Souls left behind to figure things out so they can rest in peace. Lost souls not finding a way. Lying in a dark room quiet and focused you can sence and hear and see the unseen. Paranormal does exsist. Your in silent meditation or silent rest when you hear a just as silent whisper in your ear. No one else around you realize that what you had just heard was that ghost whisper in the night of that room. It’s like a silent whisper that comes from the silence of the room. The spirits who have passed from times before yet feel they have something more. Close your eyes. Relax your mind. open your heart to mindful things. This night is the night you may hear the ghost whisper in the air. They are here trying to communicate with us. Feeling a sence of help easing thru. These are the ghost whispers in the night asking for us to help guide them into the light.

Laying here in the dark with silence all around

only one sound of the cats strong purr left to be heard.

 kids all finally asleep

 myself I cant even close my eyes.

My soul hardened and bitter not really ever looking for another tomorrow.

 Hurt within myself

 holding on strong to my christian beliefs.

While Satan has a good strong tug at my heart and soul.

 That’s alright you may try, but you won’t succeed at my life I say.

I will stay strong to my faith in God that my life not making sence will work in me as well.

You Satan will never win my soul over.

 I will fight keeping faith in ours till the very day that i die than to choose to be with you.

You are the enemy and where  I choose not to ever be.

So rest quiet my soul

the time is now yours right now

let the time not waiste away from you

Lonely am I crying inside
Hiding and running out of time
Tripping and falling over my out of sync life
I am a sad lonely soul looking for rest for my spirit
As my life around me falls apart as does myself
Spinning circles all around
Running others out of town.
No one happy in life here right now
Shadows falling over like black clouds.